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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25765147">The Unwitting Third Wheel</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/NightReaderEnigma/pseuds/NightReaderEnigma'>NightReaderEnigma</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>A Song of Ice and Fire &amp; Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Attempt at Humor, Canon Compliant, Coming of Age, F/M, Family Feels, Fluff, Idiots in Love, Jaime and Brienne through Pod's eyes, Oathfam, POV Podrick Payne, Pod has a crush on Brienne, Post - A Dance With Dragons, Romance, Secret Marriage, The Quiet Isle, inferred sexy times, sounds coming from the bedroom next door...</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 11:28:31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>17,818</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25765147</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/NightReaderEnigma/pseuds/NightReaderEnigma</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Whilst recovering on the Quiet Isle, Podrick develops a crush on his mentor and heroine, Lady Brienne.  The only hiccup in his bubble of infatuation is their new travelling companion – Ser Jaime Lannister.  Because even though M’Lady Ser and the Golden Knight argue, there seems to be a bond between them he can’t quite place…</p><p> </p><p>Written for the prompt:  <em>Podrick remembers, his reflections on Jaime and Brienne</em></p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jaime Lannister/Brienne of Tarth, Podrick Payne &amp; Brienne of Tarth</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>182</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>262</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Jaime x Brienne Fic Exchange 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. First Stage: Realisation/Infatuation</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Renega/gifts">Renega</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>For <strong><em>Renega</em></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong>Prompt:</strong>  Podrick remembers. His reflections on J/B.  Inspired by “The Municipal Gallery Revisited” by W. B. Yeats<br/><strong>Other things to consider:</strong>  Wry Jaime and dreamy Brienne.  Also Podrick, Oathfam, swords and horses<br/>(I tried to include them all, even if they are only mentioned in passing).</p><p> </p><p>This fic was a tonne of lighthearted fun which I very much enjoyed writing, so thank you for the prompt!<br/>Chapter Titles are named after the stages of a crush.  :)</p>
    </blockquote><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Pod realises he is having a lot of feelings for M'Lady Ser as he recovers on the Quiet Isle.  <br/>This coincides with him meeting Ser Jaime Lannister for the first time...</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The breeze that buffeted his face carried a distinct nip, an icy bite that trumpeted Winter’s arrival in the way only the Westerly Winds could.  Blustering and plummeting the temperature of the Sapphire Strait before him, chasing casual swimmers from the ocean. </p><p>Podrick smiled despite himself as he watched the beach below, the golden expanse of sand suddenly dotted by running, dripping figures fleeing to the shelter of the dunes.  They hugged themselves whilst they sprinted, and Pod knew from experience they were shivering.  Entirely unsurprised when high-pitched squeals carried to his ears even from this distance, their shrieks elicited by another chilly blast connecting with their wet skin. </p><p>He ran his hand over his cheeks, fingering the prickly stubble of his beard.  Nearly all grown men on the island were in the process of growing a crop of facial hair – if they didn’t sport one already - giving their skin a natural barrier against the growing cold and cutting zephyrs.</p><p> </p><p>Though in truth, Winter didn’t really affect the isle of Tarth, not in the way it did the greater continent.  They were situated far enough South that snow was out of the question, and certainly the rolling sea before him never dropped below freezing point, ice something he hadn’t seen since…</p><p> </p><p>Shaking his head roughly, Pod pushed the thought the away.  Dark times were not where he wished to dwell, not when the here and now was so fortunate.  The arrival of the frost doing little more than slowing import from the mainland and deterring youths from taking their daily dip.  All in all – they were blessed.  His life was plentiful and merry.  But it only made sense that the change in seasons set his brain to reminiscing, recollecting the last time he felt the crisp gelidity of Winter’s teeth, the gusts given their edge by river water in place of oceanic. </p><p>
  <em>How old was I?  Twelve?  Thirteen?  </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>Unbidden his hand found the rope burn beneath his chin, the layer of brown bristles now covering its fading line.  But he knew the scar was there, just as he knew Lady Brienne carried one of her own.  Hallmarks of a shared peril, the start of a new leg of their adventure. </p><p>
  <em>How naïve I was – M’Lady says it was endearing…her Lord not so much. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Podrick chuckled, it was many years ago when he had first met the man whom he now considered one of his closest friends.  Sure, Pod had to endure his relentless teasing and acerbic wit, but he had come to learn that lurking beneath the layers of sarcasm and false indifference was an endless capacity for gentleness and caring. </p><p>
  <em>Much like Lady Brienne herself.  Only I couldn’t see it in him at first.  Mayhaps I didn’t want to see it.   </em>
</p><p> </p><p>With a silly, irrepressible grin still tugging at the corners of his mouth, he started to move again.  Taking a slow meander along the well-trodden path of dirt and sand, following the scenic walk which wound along the many cliff-faces surrounding Evenfall, encouraging the onlooker to stop and view the panorama. </p><p>But Pod’s mind had wandered to a time and place much further away.  To a small bedroom upon an island dominated by men of the Faith…</p><p>
  <em>Yes - that was when I first heard him.  Heard <strong>them.  </strong>Together.  Communicating in their unique way…</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>===============</em>
</p><p> </p><p>The world behind his eyelids had been darkness for the longest time.  Floating in an unconscious where memory and dream were indistinguishable.  Where again and again he heard M’Lady Ser defend him, relived how she had bargained for his life.  Trying to save and spare him the way nobody ever had before.  “Sword!”  Brienne croaked out.  “Sword!” </p><p>
  <em>She chose me.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>That had been his last coherent thought before his states of semi-wakefulness.  Where his eyelids were still so heavy, but the voices became distinct.  Upon occasion he would feel a large hand upon his brow, hear her low mellow octaves.  “Return to me Podrick, I know you’re still in there.” </p><p>
  <em>M’Lady is calling me.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>He did not stir his consciousness for the Proctor Healer, choosing to remain drowsy and doze.  He knew the difference between his visitors from the awful smell of concoctions, the salve placed upon his neck scar, the routine checks of pulse and breathing. </p><p> </p><p>Pod conserved his energy, waiting for her presence.  For the treasured moments when she held his hand or smoothed his hair.  He wondered why her visits were scarce and short, what kept her from staying and keeping vigil by his bedside. </p><p>  </p><p>As the days passed, Podrick conceded that he may have been stronger than he was letting on.  Able to fully wake and sit up, begin conversing again.  But then Lady Brienne would no longer tend to him.  That seemed a dreadful thought. </p><p><em>Just one more day.  </em>He bargained with himself, willing sleep to claim him and dwindle away the in-between hours.  <em>Just one more day...  </em></p><p> </p><p>The next evening, he was roused by two voices.  One was easily distinguishable as Lady Brienne, but the other was new – a male tenor he didn’t recognise.  It didn’t belong to Hyle, or the Healer.  This man was a stranger to Podrick’s ears.</p><p> </p><p>Suddenly alert but masked behind the disguise of his eyelids, he tuned his awareness to the conversation at hand.   </p><p> </p><p>“It looks angry.”  The male observed, Pod noticed that his tone carried noble inflections.  “And I saw you grab the wall earlier…you know ignoring your injuries does not make them go away.”</p><p>“Perhaps my cheek appears reddened because I am vexed with your unsolicited advice.”</p><p>“Fine – suit yourself.  But you don’t fool me Wench.”</p><p> </p><p>She sighed, long and deep.  “I will not divide their attention from Podrick.  He needs treatment more than I do.” </p><p>“Even if your own health suffers as a result?” </p><p>In that moment Pod made up his mind to end his charade.  He was just about to bolt upright when loud footsteps stalled his plan. </p><p> </p><p>“You can’t be in here!”  The Proctor sounded aghast.  “It is long after sundown.  Must I remind you <em>both </em>of the rules on Quiet Isle?” </p><p>“Please…”  Brienne sounded distressed.  “…he is just a boy.  I do not wish him to be alone.” </p><p>“Only wed man and wife are allowed within a bedchamber together.  Whether you consider him a boy or not, he is well into adolescence and these are the values we uphold.  It was enough of an affront when you - Ser Jaime - were found sneaking around the women’s cottages last night.” </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>He has a name…it is <span class="u">him.</span>  The one M’Lady almost died to protect.</em>
</p><p><em>Sword.  </em>He reassured himself, willing his troubled, fluttering heart to settle.  <em>She chose Sword.    </em></p><p> </p><p>“You were?”  Brienne hissed. </p><p>“I was coming to see you.  Checking you hadn’t perished in your sleep from fever or mulishness.  These rules are archaic.”</p><p>“Morality-” The healer’s voice took on a shrill edge.  “-Withstands the test of time.  Now both of you <strong>out</strong>…”</p><p> </p><p>“B-but-” M’Lady began to protest weakly.</p><p>“But we <em>are</em> married!”  The man – Ser Jaime – broke into her stutters a little too enthusiastically. </p><p><em>His lie is quite obvious.  </em>   </p><p> </p><p>“Really?”  The healer sounded sceptical at best. </p><p>“Yes.”  Jaime had grown more confident in his delivery.  “We are wed.”  Then he flippantly added.  “He’s our son.” </p><p>
  <em>Is he referring to me?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>“Your son?”  The brother repeated.  “And pray tell – how old is he?” </p><p>
  <em>Anyone can see I am too old to be M’Lady Ser’s son. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>But the man was lightning quick.  “Hard to say….I’ve been away at war for so long.” </p><p>“Hmmmmnnn.”  The Proctor Healer made an unimpressed noise.  “I will fetch Elder Brother.” </p><p>Podrick heard his footfalls recede. </p><p> </p><p>“Ser Jaime!”  Brienne’s scold came forcefully.  “That is preposterous!” </p><p>“Do you want to stay with Podrick or not?”  There was a repetitive tapping, like a heel jittered anxiously against the floorboards.  “And if they believe we are wed, I can ensure you are properly cared for.  You’re growing more gaunt by the minute.”</p><p>“That is none of your concern.”  She huffed before enquiring.  “And do I really appear <em>that</em> old?  Mature enough to have a son of Podrick’s years?” </p><p>“Well the hanging couldn’t possibly have made your looks worse…”  There was a wry quality to his delivery which Pod misliked immensely.  “… but it did age you.  And when you add in your surly expression, pale complexion and the radiating heat I can feel coming off you in waves, it certainly doesn’t paint a pretty picture.” </p><p>“Thank you Ser, I always know where to turn for an honest evaluation of my appearance.”  Her clipped tone masked the hurt and Podrick felt anger flare within. </p><p> </p><p>“Brienne… I was trying to help.”</p><p>“By lying to holy men?”  Pod could detect both her exasperation and fatigue.  “An order who has shown us only hospitality?” </p><p>“It’s a stupid rule.”  Jaime mused, accompanied by the sound of a boot scuffing. </p><p>“I will tell you what is doltish –” Brienne muttered.  “-claiming a brown-haired boy is our kin when we are both blonde.” </p><p>They descended into silence until a new voice boomed. </p><p> </p><p>“Lady Brienne.”</p><p>“Elder brother.” </p><p>“I have heard a tale.  Am I now supposed to understand that young Podrick is your son?” </p><p>
  <em>M’Lady Ser has gone quiet, she doesn’t know what to say.  </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>“In truth-” Ser Jaime interjected.  “-I never said ‘of the flesh.’  More an adoptive ward of sorts... if it please you.” </p><p>
  <em>Hasn’t his mouth done enough damage?</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>“And I trust you are the one claiming to be her husband?”  Nothing in the Elder Brother’s tone hinted at him believing the far-fetched story. </p><p>“Yes.”  <em>He is a bold man.</em></p><p> </p><p>“Lady Brienne has visited us upon the Quiet Isle before.  Last I met and spoke with her at length – she was a maiden.” </p><p>“That’s easily changed.”  Ser Jaime possessed a cockiness that riled Podrick.  <em>He should not speak of such things.  <span class="u">Especially</span> not about M’Lady.  </em></p><p>“That much is true.”  Elder Brother acquiesced.  “But the blush she currently wears at the mere mention of the act would suggest otherwise.”</p><p>“Just as likely her skin is flushed from temperature.  Her wounds are far from healed.”</p><p> </p><p>Podrick heard the Elder Brother take a deep breath.  “I was not born yesterday Ser Jaime and were I not a man of Faith, I could take offense.  But instead, I would ask you to enlighten me.  Do you always lie to those who offer you shelter and aid?” </p><p>“Only when they have ridiculous rules.”</p><p>“Those conditions are not put in place to thwart your plight Ser; they exist for the sake of common decency and for both the reputation and protection of the women who seek safe haven here.  No good can come of an unwed man and woman sharing a room for the night.” </p><p>     </p><p>Now the knight named Jaime chuckled.  “Spoken like a man who has sworn a vow of celibacy.” </p><p>The Elder Brother did not share his mirth.  “I would suggest if you take issue with being apart from Lady Brienne for the sleeping hours – it is not the rules which need to change, but your own relationship status.” </p><p>   </p><p>It wouldn’t be until the next day that Podrick learnt the truth of what happened next.  If he had known, he certainly would have immediately sprung from the bed. </p><p>But at the time he thought it a squabble or struggle, which surprised him, as the Brothers of the Isle were a peaceful folk.  And if something had ruffled one of them that much - it was best for him to keep out of it and continue feigning sleep.  </p><p> </p><p>============</p><p> </p><p>One week after Lady Brienne’s collapse she was finally strong enough to leave her cottage again. </p><p>Podrick himself had been up and about for days.  Spending a great deal of his time worrying and pacing.  They wouldn’t let him in to sit by her bedside, only allowing him to visit on two fleeting occasions.  It was as if the Brothers were a world removed from understanding the anguish he was going through.  Of knowing M’Lady was behind the door - possibly dying - and he couldn’t be there to comfort her as she had tried with him. </p><p>The young Squire picked her a fresh bunch of wildflowers daily.  Asking the Proctor Healer to place them by her bedside and let her know they were from him.</p><p> </p><p>So absorbed was he in his fretting, it took three days for him to realise he hadn’t stumbled across the man named Ser Jaime when he was roaming the small isle. </p><p>
  <em>Perhaps he has been imprisoned for a scuffle with the Elder Brother.  It would make sense.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>But…it wasn’t a fight.  The scrabbling I heard was both of them rushing to assist M’Lady Ser. </em>
</p><p>It troubled him whilst he polished Brienne’s armour, making sure it shone to perfection and would be gleaming when she was well enough to don it again. </p><p>
  <em>Do they imprison people here for lying?</em>
</p><p>He couldn’t ask anyone – most of the Brothers didn’t speak due to their oaths of silence.  Which was fine with Podrick for the better part, he had always been quiet of nature.  But curiosity was a burning thing. </p><p> </p><p>The only person he had thought to ask about it was Ser Hyle.  The hedge Knight’s recovery had been the swiftest of the three and he had taken to sampling the Isle’s ale and mead as a way to cure boredom.  Pod sought him out in the stables, but instead ended up lingering in the background unseen, stopped cold by Hunt’s loud, drunken conversation. </p><p>After what he’d overheard that evening, Podrick possessed little inclination to converse with him ever again. </p><p> </p><p>But now the Winter noon was warm, and Brienne was slowly ambling towards the small courtyard. </p><p><em>Towards me.</em>  How he had missed her.</p><p> </p><p>Rays bounced in her flaxen locks, igniting hidden aureate hues – making her look half a solar deity, descended from the heavens to walk amongst mortals.  Her height so tall and proud Pod wondered if she could simply reach out and pluck the sun from the sky.</p><p>So enthralled was he in watching the Lady approach that it took him several beats to notice the man beside her. </p><p>He was just slightly shorter than she, with curled hair of spun gold, a regal bearing and a wicked smirk.  The man chatted away to Brienne as she walked, her sapphire eyes rolling to the blue expanse above in response to something he had said. </p><p><em>I have not seen him before, but he annoys her…. that must be Ser Jaime.  </em> </p><p> </p><p>“’Bout bloody time!”  Ser Hyle called out.  “There’s nothing to do on this island.” </p><p>Brienne gave him a curt nod. </p><p>“Astute observation Ser Hyle, I am ever so pleased to hear you are opposed to island living – it may be for the best.”  The golden knight threw Hunt a knowing smirk, as though he possessed secret knowledge that the other man did not.  Although she was still recovering it did not stop Brienne from elbowing Ser Jaime right in the ribs. </p><p>Podrick beamed.  <em>She must be feeling better.  </em></p><p>
  
</p><p>“M-M-M’Lady Ser.”  He jumped to his feet when she neared, bounding over.  Somehow even more tongue-tied than usual in her presence, hoping his smile said it all.  “I-I am glad you are well.” </p><p>“Likewise Pod, I am relieved to see you fully recovered.”  She riffled his hair with her freckled hand, the gesture sending tingles shooting from his scalp to his toes.  “And I must thank you for the lovely blooms.  They truly cheered me; it was very kind.” </p><p>A blush engulfed his cheeks and he looked at the tips of his shoes.  His cheeks positively aching from the broadness of his grin. </p><p>Behind him Hyle sniggered at his expense, his mockery unabashed.  “Awwww, how sweet.  The little Squire picked her flowers!”  He trumpeted.  </p><p>Podrick scowled, so did Brienne.</p><p> </p><p>“Do not listen to him.”  She advised.  “Knights of legend were schooled in chivalry and courtly manners.  Your gesture was a perfect example of that.” </p><p>“T-t-thank you.”  <em>Think of something to say!  </em>He looked up at the towering warrior woman, the dark ring around her neck contrasting harshly with her ivory skin.  “W-we both have matching necklaces.” </p><p>“That we do.”  Brienne agreed.  “And that is a pleasant perspective to view them with.” </p><p>“Hey!”  Hyle hollered, pulling down the fabric of his collar, the ridicule yet to be leeched from his voice.  “I have one too you know!” </p><p>Brienne’s glower deepened, her eyes narrowing in disapproval. </p><p> </p><p>“Well I’m down a hand-” The man he presumed was Ser Jaime stepped closer, waggling his eyebrows and brandishing a stumped arm in an attempt to lighten the situation.  “-Can I join anyway?  Will a lost extremity suffice as my entrance fee?” </p><p>Pod jumped when a snort of laughter shot from Brienne, her hand flying to her cheek, the still slightly raw flesh twisting as she smiled. </p><p>The young Squire’s brow crinkled in concern.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh!”  Realisation dawned across the Lady’s face.  “Pod – I almost forgot.  You haven’t been officially introduced – this is Ser Jaime Lannister.” </p><p>The golden knight’s grin showed row after row of perfect pearl white teeth, glinting in the sunlight as he extended his left hand for the lad to shake.  “Well met Podrick - you Squired for my Brother and now Lady Brienne.”</p><p>Reluctantly, he accepted Jaime’s offered hand, trying his best to demonstrate a firm and manly grip. </p><p> </p><p>==============</p><p> </p><p>They ate lunch outside, feasting on hard bread and vegetable stew, all made and grown upon the self-contained island.  Chatter was intermittent, stinted at best.  Finding subjects the foursome had in common proving more elusive than Rhaegar’s Rubies.  They quickly learnt that the controversial issues of politics and war were best avoided.  Talk of women hastily quashed.  Horses was a short-lived avenue which turned alarmingly competitive.  The lulls were filled with bland observations about the weather, an act which only served to further highlight the unforeseen escalating tension.  </p><p> </p><p>Ser Jaime and Ser Hyle seemed locked in a duel of viewpoints, frequently coming to loggerheads over various topics; whether it be Lady Sansa, the state of the realm or simply the flavour of the cider they sipped.  There was a purposefully contrary air about the men’s remarks, each sentence almost designed to be intentionally inflammatory towards the other.   </p><p>Podrick couldn’t determine an obvious motive behind the pair’s mutual antagonism and he himself was yet to form a set opinion on their newest companion.  But Pod could already tell he agreed with the golden knight on one thing. </p><p>
  <em>Neither of us are particularly fond of Ser Hyle.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Eventually, Brienne took control of the conversation, steering them onto a discussion about where they would next be travelling.    </p><p>“What if we go North?”  Ser Jaime suggested. </p><p>She blinked.  “We?” </p><p>“Yes – we.  I uphold the same vow you do seeking the Lady Sansa.  I have already abandoned my men and post thus far; I may as well continue.  Besides, I have been badgering the Elder Brother for news of the outside world.  He says there is much talk about a gathering threat Beyond the Wall <em>and – </em>wait you are going to love this Wench –” Podrick bristled whenever this newcomer dared to call Lady Brienne by that title.  “- They say Stannis Baratheon’s forces are already there.  Didn’t you vow to kill him?” </p><p> </p><p>She sat forward upon the bench; eyes bigger than jewels in a crown.  “Yes – though I did not know if he still lived.”</p><p>“According to travellers heading Southwards he is very much alive; his army marches on Winterfell with the intention of seizing it from the Boltons.  They say that prior to this he formed an allegiance with Jon Snow – who has risen to Lord Commander of the Night’s Watch.  Now I know because of the distance that is covered, a lot of this information will be old, but it is a start.  So, I propose we head North, see for ourselves what all the fuss is about and with any luck perhaps Lady Stark had the same idea and found her way home.  Surely she would have heard similar tales – perhaps she would travel to her bastard brother.”</p><p>Brienne inhaled and exhaled, working her jaw in thought.  “It is as good a plan as any.” </p><p>“Now I don’t know…”  Part of Pod wondered if Ser Hyle was being argumentative just because Ser Jaime had made the suggestion.  “…where in this plan do you finally accept my marriage proposal?”  He grinned in a way that was intended to be charming, but all it served to do was make Podrick’s stomach churn. </p><p>
  <em>I know what your true game is.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>For some reason, Brienne peered at Jaime from under her eyebrows and one side of the golden knight’s mouth quirked upwards. </p><p> </p><p>=================</p><p> </p><p>By late in the afternoon, Brienne had returned to her cottage, the Proctor Healer arriving to check on her health.  Pod had walked her back to the small room himself, but the Brother had dismissed him at the door.</p><p> </p><p>Ser Jaime was wandering around the stables, amusing himself by trying to approach the bad tempered Destrier named Driftwood.  He laughed openly when Pod passed, giving him a wave.  “I’m seeing how quickly I can lose my second hand.”   </p><p>Podrick simply nodded and scurried past.  He had a mission on his mind. </p><p> </p><p>First, he had sought counsel with the Elder Brother, his words jumbling when he repeated the awful truth of what he’d overheard.  Confessing the sin of eavesdropping, whilst asking what he should do.  The Holy Man had said he couldn’t tell him directly what path to pursue, that difficult choices were what separated the men from the boys.  Shaping the person you will become and ultimately becoming a measure of your character.  But he had advised Pod to follow his heart – and that is precisely what he intended to do. </p><p> </p><p>He had rehearsed for over an hour out in the fields, determined the words would not stick in his throat, that his voice would not quaver or stammer, undermining the seriousness of his message.</p><p> </p><p>And so it was, Pod found himself in front of Ser Hyle Hunt, locating the Hedge Knight in the storehouse where the casks of wine and ale fermented. </p><p>He squared his shoulders, angling his chin in an attempt to make his slight frame larger. </p><p>
  <em>It’s now or never Podrick.  Be the man and not the boy…</em>
</p><p> </p><p>“You don’t love her.” </p><p>“What?!”  Hunt spluttered around a guffaw.  “Pod have you lost your wits or grown balls?”</p><p>“Lady Brienne – you don’t love her.”  He repeated.  “And you do not seek the Lady Sansa for the same reasons we do.” </p><p> </p><p>Hyle’s expression clouded, his eyes became slits.  “What’s this now?” </p><p>“I heard you – when you were drinking with the Gravedigger.  You spoke loudly.  You admitted you intended to claim the reward for finding the Stark girl and…”  Pod swallowed, finding the next part extremely hard to say.  “…you said that Lady Brienne was a gigantic, frightful beast but thankfully not too bright.  That you would have yourself an island before the winter recedes.  That you would have had quite the purse for claiming her virtue had Lord Tarly not interceded.” </p><p>The Squire ground his teeth.  “Y-you are dishonourable Ser.  And I intend to tell M’Lady the truth of it.” </p><p>“You wouldn’t dare…”  Hyle sneered, stalking closer.  His shadow engulfing the boy as he grabbed him by the front of his jerkin, fingers fisting in the fabric.  “…you keep your mouth shut you little shit.  You hear me?!” </p><p>“I-I thought you may say that.  But Lady Brienne will believe me over you – I have never given her cause to doubt.  I suggest you depart from here Ser Hyle and leave M’Lady alone.” </p><p> </p><p>“And what if I shut you up permanently huh?”  The threat was evident by his proximity, the stench of wine upon his breath. </p><p>
  <em>Tyrion taught me to think ahead.  </em>
</p><p>“I-I-I knew you would try to intimidate me.”  He swallowed, trying to stifle the tremors.  “S-s-so I told Elder Brother my plan.  He knows all.  If something were to happen to me, he will go to M’Lady.  And then she will come after you.” </p><p>“You fucking snivelling weasel.”  Hyle released him roughly.  “You know you just cost your precious Lady Brienne her one chance at marriage.” </p><p> </p><p>“T-t-that’s not true.”  Pod shook his head, wildly swinging it from side to side.  “I’ll marry her.” </p><p> </p><p>This transformed Hunt’s rage to hysterical laughter, the sound bouncing off the kegs and walls.  “Got yourself a crush on the hulking aurochs huh?  Well you’re welcome to her.  I didn’t want to spend eternity fucking someone with that face anyway.” </p><p>Podrick wished he were taller, brawnier.  Then he could wipe the humour off Ser Hyle’s disrespectful mug.  Instead he puffed up once again and declared.  “I-I’ll give you until tomorrow morning to be gone.”</p><p>Striding from the cellar upon shaking legs, he tried not to let the older knight’s hooting trouble him.   </p><p><em>At least we won’t have to endure his ridicule anymore.  </em> </p><p> </p><p>================</p><p> </p><p>The next day Hyle was indeed gone.  He had packed up and left in the middle of the night.  None were sorry to see the back of him.  Not Podrick.  Not Ser Jaime.  And most heartening of all – not Lady Brienne. </p><p> </p><p>Eventually Pod confided the truth to his mentor, never wanting them to keep secrets from each other.  He basked in her undivided attention as she listened intently, letting him speak.  Brienne never grew impatient with his stutters, nor hurried him along.  She was empathy and compassion, the kindest soul he’d ever known.    </p><p>Of course, Podrick omitted the specifics of the cruel things Hyle had said.  Not wanting to hurt her.  And he may have fallen short of relaying Hunt’s observations about him.  But both things weren’t really relevant to the story.  Or so he assured himself. </p><p>When he finished, he stared into her blue eyes whilst she nodded, saying she suspected Ser Hyle’s true motives all long.  Brienne commended his bravery, reprimanded him for endangering himself but ultimately concluded it was all for the best. </p><p> </p><p>At the end of their conversation she asked him to pack their things.  “We will depart tomorrow.  We have been a burden upon the hospitality of the Brothers too long.” </p><p>The Squire nodded enthusiastically, effervescent at the idea of being out on the road with M’Lady Ser again. </p><p>
  <em>Just the two of us…</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>“And Pod – if you happen to see Ser Jaime before I do, please tell him of my plans.  If he takes issue with them, then direct him to speak with me.  He should be agreeable, seeming as I’m taking his suggestion and heading North.  Last we conversed on the topic he intended joining us upon our expedition.” </p><p>“Yes, M’Lady Ser.”  Pod mumbled, hand on the doorknob.  Spirits taking a tumble. </p><p>
  <em>I momentarily forgot about him.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Second Stage: Denial/Jealousy</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Sword fights, a roll in the mud, a rainstorm and a cabin with only two bedrooms to house three...</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The clatter of wood had him floating on air – it did not matter if Brienne still deemed it too early for him to be permitted to practice daily with real blades – to Pod right now, the clack of the branches they wielded, bested steel any day.</p><p> </p><p>When they drilled the continent shrunk to just the two of them, she the centre of his world and he centre of hers.  Everything mattered, where he placed his feet, how he held his fingers, the grimace of his expression.  She noticed them all – brilliant, perceptive and strong, but also fair, even-tempered and heedful. </p><p>Lady Brienne monitored her blows and checked her severity, testing him when he got too confident but still allowing him opportunities.  As far as he was concerned, she was the best tutor and swordswoman in existence, and he wouldn’t trade being her Squire to serve under a hundred knights of legend. </p><p> </p><p>None of his previous masters had ever considered him of enough value to train, they only wanted him to serve and be silent.  But M'Lady Ser cared – whether he was improving, whether he was challenged and most importantly she ensured that he learnt the codes which went along with prospective knighthood. </p><p>No single person had ever taken this much interest in him before, known him well enough to detect the glint in his eye before he lunged or that he had a bad habit of pointing his toes slightly inward.  And so in turn, Podrick did not care if she couldn’t bestow upon him the title of Ser – for having her to guide him outweighed the cost two-fold. </p><p> </p><p>Pod bit his lip in concentration, attempting to mirror her stance as instructed, struggling to focus more on the technical aspects of the pose rather than the wisp of hair that caught in her eyelashes or the speckles which sprinkled across her nose. </p><p> </p><p>All in all – the first sennight of their journey hadn’t been half as bad as he’d feared.  Sure, the weather grew colder as they made their way Northward but they had ample supplies from the Quiet Isle – plenty of food and furs to keep them warm. </p><p>Lord Lannister was an interesting character; equal measures grumbly and affable, vacillating between highest snobbery and a willingness to pitch in, helping out with day to day tasks.  The golden knight could speak more words in the space of just a couple of hours than both Lady Brienne and Pod himself uttered in a year - but at least it filled the silence.  He reminded Podrick of his brother Tyrion in that respect. </p><p> </p><p>But the best part was – Ser Jaime and Lady Brienne did not get along. </p><p>It puzzled Pod in many ways, unable to comprehend why M'Lady Ser had allowed Ser Jaime to join their travels if he irritated her so much.  However then he thought of their mutual vow to find Lady Sansa and how much Brienne believed in upholding oaths and it made sense enough to appease his confusion.   </p><p> </p><p>Ser Jaime complained frequently, about the cold or the food or Brienne’s lack of communicativeness, until she eventually cracked and snapped at him. </p><p>He sang songs which drove her insane – on one particular occasion he repeated ‘The Bear and the Maiden Fair,’ thrice in succession and Podrick could practically see the steam radiating off her broad shoulders.  Thereafter he switched to ‘My Lady Wife,’ a romantic ballad which seemed to make her frustration dissolve, a dreamy wistfulness overtaking her face which she tried to hide behind the fur collar of her cloak-</p><p>And then it was Pod’s turn to silently fume. </p><p>  </p><p>Their truces did not last long though – no sooner had the final note ceased than he began to litter his speech with lurid jokes that brought a scalding blush to her cheeks and began the cycle anew.      </p><p>
  <em>But that was only the beginning of it...  </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>The Lady and Knight bickered constantly.  Over where to make camp (under the hillock for protection or on top of it for a vantage point), over what wood was suitable for their fire (if it was too coated in frost to burn or was too green and igniting it would cause smoke and draw attention).   Over whether the water in the stream was clean enough for drinking, or if the horses deserved a rest.  It was just – constant. </p><p><em>Much better than Ser Hyle always trying to win over M’Lady with false courtesies.  </em>  </p><p> </p><p>Though there was a recurring topic of constant debate between his two older companions that Podrick was yet to figure out. </p><p>It was always discussed in hushed but heated tones, heads bowed low by the fire or a stream.  Purposefully away from his hearing, with background noise to drown them out.  The most he had caught was a reference to ‘the situation’ or ‘fiasco.’    </p><p>Upon that day their exchange had grown particularly fervid.</p><p> </p><p>“What do you expect me to say Ser Jaime?  You may be content to ignore it, but the situation isn’t going to resolve itself!”</p><p>“Ah!  Well now that you’ve said that…”  The Knight threw his arms out wide, encompassing the forest clearing where the pair stood, before pointing off into the distant trees.  “…I see the High Septon right here, headed this way.  How convenient!  Now we can just talk to him about it and all will be solved.”</p><p>“You got us into this…” </p><p>“No – you did.  With your stubborn ‘I’m fines’ and refusal to seek aid until you were on the Stranger’s bloody doorstep!”</p><p>“You could have left me there.” </p><p>“Where?” </p><p>“Does it really make a difference where?  There on my deathbed, in the cottage.  Or in the tent in the Riverlands or at Harrenhal in the Bearpit it all amounts to the same.  The same chain of events leading us to this moment.  This fiasco.”</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t dramatize Wench.  I’ve told you before and I’ll tell you again – nothing is wrought in stone or iron until we….”  He twirled his hand in the air, digits circling to indicate the word going unsaid.  “…and that certainly isn’t happening.  We did what was necessary at the time and we shall find a way to rectify it as soon as we can.  But that place is not on the road North, where we are not only entering a different region but a different system of Faith.” </p><p>Brienne nodded defeatedly, shoulders slumped, withdrawing within again and going quiet.</p><p>That was the last time Podrick had heard them speak of it. </p><p> </p><p>“That’s enough for today Pod-”</p><p>He blinked several times, noticing how her branch was tapped against his shin.  “-Your concentration is waning.” </p><p>“I-I’m sorry M’Lady.”  The Squire resumed fighting stance; he wasn’t prepared for their bout to end.  “I am ready for the next round.”    </p><p>Brienne shook her head.  “No Pod.  Enough.  Take a break.” </p><p> </p><p>Dragging his feet and branch he did as he was bid, wandering back to the rocks which they had stopped upon for lunch.  It was only now he noticed that Ser Jaime was watching them.  “You tried.”  He gave Pod a consolatory clap on the shoulder.  “And now it’s my turn…” </p><p> </p><p>Podrick whirled around on his heel in shock, Jaime was already strolling over towards Brienne, drawing his blade from his belt.  “Care to dance My Lady?”</p><p>“You wish to duel with me?”  Brienne tossed her branch aside, fingers hovering over the hilt at her hip. </p><p>“No – I’m honestly suggesting we enjoy a nice waltz.”  He tilted his head to the side, regarding her quizzically.  “What do you say?  It’s been a while.” </p><p> </p><p>A strange expression crossed over the features Podrick knew so well, an indescribable mix of restraint, exhilaration and delight.  Brienne shook the stray blonde strands from her eyes, unsheathing her sword in a blur of metal. </p><p>“I accept your challenge.” </p><p> </p><p>===============</p><p> </p><p>He didn’t like this one bit. </p><p> </p><p>Pod sat upon one of the low boulders, tugging despondently at blades of icy grass, lifting doleful brown eyes to the sky to monitor how far the dull winter sun had moved.  He had easily been sitting there for over half an hour. </p><p>A few yards away, the frosted ground had been churned into sludge and mud by two pairs of relentless feet.  Digging into the earth and kicking up clumps as their metal rang out again and again into the atmosphere.  Jaime growled, Brienne grunted and Pod sulked. </p><p>
  <em>Training was <span class="u">our</span> thing.  It was special.  </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>He watched them intermittently, turning his gaze downward when the queasy feeling in his gut became too much to bear. </p><p>
  <em>She moves differently with him.  Less like student and teacher.  They are equals. </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>If he weren’t so caught up in the emotional upheaval of watching Jaime enjoy (and steal) <em>his </em>favourite activity with Lady Brienne, he would have thought the spectacle quite the privilege to witness.  Both warriors moved with finesse and skill, their senses fine-tuned and precise. </p><p>Pod was certain at full strength Lady Brienne would have bested the one-handed Knight with ease, but as she was still recuperating from her ordeal, they were more evenly matched. </p><p> </p><p>“Yield!”  Jaime commanded with sword pointed at the centre of her breastplate, she had just lost her footing and dropped to one knee in the muck.  “Come on woman – you’re being stubborn again; I know you are tiring.”</p><p> </p><p>Brienne wiped splattered mud off her forehead with the back of her hand, only serving to smear it.  “Never.” </p><p>With a well-timed kick she knocked the Knight’s knees out from under him, sending the sword flying from his grasp. </p><p> </p><p>They grappled in the mud in a tangle of flailing limbs, wrestling and cursing at each other until Podrick could no longer tell who was who they were so caked in filth.</p><p>
  <em>I don’t know him well...  What if he hurts her?  What if he harms M'Lady while I just sit by and watch....?!  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Jumping to his feet, Pod squinted, brows knitting with worry. </p><p>
  <em>And he is touching her, pressed against her…</em>
</p><p>Without conscious thought his feet began to move, breaking into a run.  “Stop!  Stop!”</p><p> </p><p>They halted when he approached, two almost unrecognisable creatures of grime and ferocity.  Only their eyes distinguishable, big marbles of blue compared to untrustworthy green. </p><p>“You are pushing Lady Brienne too hard!  She could get injured!”  How his voice got so loud he wasn’t sure.</p><p> </p><p>The two warriors exchanged bemused glances and Jaime chuckled, white teeth striking a contrast to the dark wet earth which coated him.  “He has a point….call it a draw?”</p><p>“Very well.”  Brienne groaned.  “But one minute more and I would have bested you.” </p><p>“In your dreams Wench.” </p><p> </p><p>Jaime pushed himself from the mire with a sickening squelch, offering Lady Brienne his hand to help her stand, his chortle increasing in volume when she haughtily refused, propping herself up on both palms. </p><p>Podrick made a point of swooping in and assisting her, glaring at Jaime over Brienne’s shoulder. </p><p>The Knight’s brows raised but for once he remained blessedly quiet. </p><p> </p><p>When she was on her feet again, Brienne looked down at herself.  “We best get cleaned up.” </p><p>“I agree.”  Ser Jaime said.  <em>He <strong>agrees</strong> with her?  Another first.  </em>“Your cheek will need washing out.  You don’t want it to get inflamed again.” </p><p>“Fair point.”  Brienne nodded, capitulating all too easily.  “I hadn’t thought of that.”</p><p> </p><p>As they began to hobble away – their movements stiffened by the rapidly setting mud – Pod could only gape. </p><p>
  <em>I do not understand their communication.  But there is something odd about it…wholly unlike anyone I have ever heard Lady Brienne converse with before. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I can’t quite put my finger on the difference.  But it bothers me.  </em>
</p><p>=============</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>After another week of camping outdoors in near freezing conditions their moods were bleak.  When icy rain began falling in sheets from the midnight sky – it did not help matters. </p><p>They held their cloaks aloft, trying to block the chilling deluge, shouting to be heard over the hammer of rainfall. </p><p> </p><p>“I told you I saw a cabin not far off!”  Ser Jaime yelled.  “Will you agree to take shelter <em>now</em> Wench?”</p><p>“We still cannot know if it is inhabited!”</p><p>“I’ll take my chances.  I would rather die defending myself with sword in hand than by freezing to death.”</p><p>“I do not want innocent blood on my hands!”  Her bottom lip was trembling now, her skin turning a pale shade of blue.  “We will investigate.  Perhaps the residents will take kindly and permit us to share their roof for the night.”</p><p>“Idealistic to a fault.”  The Knight shook his head, long curls darkening from the rain, locks dripping with water and encrusted by ice crystals.  “Let’s hurry.” </p><p>Rivers cascaded from her chin as she delivered an affirmative nod, commanding.  “Lead the way.” </p><p> </p><p>The moved swiftly but cautiously across the sodden ground, tromping through puddles of slush and icy patches where the water froze on impact.   They led their mounts, not wanting to risk the horses slipping and breaking a leg. </p><p>All were soaked to the bone by the time they finally shoved through the cabin door.  The cold seeping into their systems, birthing gooseflesh across Pod’s skin, shivering from Ser Jaime and causing Brienne’s teeth to chatter, interrupting her speech. </p><p>“Pppppod make a fire.”  Brienne instructed.  “Sssser Jjjaime and I will check the pppremises.”      </p><p> </p><p>Podrick did as he was bid, setting about building a roaring blaze in the hearth, the warrior woman and knight returning only a heartbeat later to announce that the cabin was empty. </p><p> </p><p>The place was beyond small, comprised of only three rooms; the area where they currently stood, serving as both sitting room and kitchen, then two tiny bedchambers leading off the main space.  With their doors now thrown open Pod could see a rustic bed in each room and a small hearth.  Even though they were musty and cramped, to him they looked heavenly.   </p><p>“Ppodrick...”  Brienne tossed his saddlebag in his direction.  “Ppplease ggo into one of the rooms, ccclose the door, build a fire in there too, then ccchange.  Afterwards ssssleep if you can.”  She hugged her arms around herself, trying to keep warm.  “Ddo not come out, mmyself and Sser Jaime are yet to decide where we will dress.  One of us wwwill have to tttake the main room and will require ppprivacy.” </p><p>“Yes M’Lady.”  He followed her instructions immediately, shutting the door behind him.    </p><p> </p><p>But their voices carried through the timber…his ears pricking as he ignited his fireplace, peeling off his wet layers and retrieving what clothes from his pack had managed to remain dry.    </p><p> </p><p>“Wwwe must stand watch.  The residents could come back at any tttime.” </p><p>“Brienne – they are long gone.” </p><p>“Our horses may be ssstolen.  Wwe could be raided in the night.  I will not tttake that chance.”</p><p>“That is all well and good in theory, but this cabin has no viewing windows, only high vents - odds are they designed it that way to keep out the cold - but it makes it impossible to take sentry duty from inside…”</p><p> </p><p>“I know.”  He could hear the resolve in Lady Brienne’s voice.  “Wwhich is why I will tttake the first shift outside.” </p><p>“Have you completely lost your wits?!”  Jaime’s tone was unnaturally high pitched, the origin of the sound shifting to the sleeping chamber next door.  His rebuttal accompanied by the tell-tale clunks of wood being dropped into the fireplace, setting the third hearth aflame.  “Listen to yourself!  You can barely string a sentence together you are so cold! And you intend going back out there?!” </p><p> </p><p>“I have seen the wwworst of what roams these lands.  The sssmoke from our fires may be seen from afar.  Ttto be caught off-guard is not a chance I’m willing to take.  Now, I ddo not expect you to be held to the ssame beliefs.  The ccchoice is mine.”</p><p>“The likelihood of anyone spotting smoke through the rain is miniscule.  You are being unreasonable-”  His objection was cut off by the sharp bang of the front door, the rattling of its hinges signalling her exit. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>M’Lady is being too careful.  We seem safe here.  And outside is so cold.  I do not want her catching chill.    </em>
</p><p>Podrick stared into his own toasty fire, then looked guiltily at his door.</p><p>
  <em>I promised I would stay within – but maybe I can convince her to come inside.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Making his decision Pod turned the knob, peeking through the crack and finding the main room surprisingly empty.  He crept across the floorboards, noting that the door to the other bedchamber was open.  <em>Where is Ser Jaime?  </em></p><p>He soon received his answer, Lady Brienne’s octaves carrying angrily from outside. </p><p>“Go bbback in!” </p><p>“No.” </p><p>
  <em>Ser Jaime followed her…</em>
</p><p> </p><p>“If you have come to fffetch me inside it is futile.” </p><p>“You’re being a dolt – the awning affords no shelter, the rain blows inward!”</p><p>“I appreciate your ccconcern but it will not change the fffacts.” </p><p> </p><p>The pair fell silent and Pod pressed his ear to the door, hearing only the pounding deluge. </p><p>Soon Lady Brienne spoke again.  “Wwwhat are you doing?!” </p><p>“Standing watch with you.”    </p><p>“That nnnegates the pppurpose entirely.  You ssshould be inside where it's wwwarm.” </p><p>“And so should you.” </p><p>“This was my dddecision.   It makes no sssense for two of us to ssstand guard.”</p><p>“The entire thing doesn’t make any sense!  It’s stupidity and obstinacy.  You will catch your death – your fever hasn’t long receded.”</p><p>“I am not fffragile.”  Her ceaselessly chattering teeth and words indicated quite the opposite.  “I dddo not need your chivalry.”  She sighed and even her breath shuddered.  “Nnnot again.”</p><p>“So that’s what this is about?”  Jaime huffed.  “Well I’m afraid you’re getting it Wench, whether you like it or not.  I will not go back inside until you come with me.”</p><p> </p><p>Loud angry stomps reverberated against the front steps and Podrick hastily scampered back into his room.  Retreating but continuing to listen through the ajar door.</p><p> </p><p>“That’s better.”  Jaime pronounced cockily.</p><p>“Wwhy are you doing this?!”  It was rare Lady Brienne raised her voice, but it was loud now.  “Fffirst the Quiet Isle and now hhhere?” </p><p>“I’m taking care of you!  Far better care than you’re taking of your bloody self - that’s for sure.”</p><p>“I mmmanaged just fine without you Sser and when you’re gggone I will again.” </p><p>“If that's true then stop acting foolishly.  Freezing yourself into a block of ice out in the rain rather than suffer my company, accept my succour...” </p><p>“I dddon’t need you!” </p><p>“Then why did you come fetch me in the first place?!  Why did we take on the Brotherhood together?!  Why did you slay Stoneheart and re-evaluate your precious ideals?  Why Brienne?!  Tell me why – when it would have been far easier to run me through with Oathkeeper like you said you would when you chose sword...” </p><p>“I am not that ppperson.  I cccould’t, I wwouldn’t!” </p><p>“No – instead you are the person who is so set in her ways she cannot bend even slightly to see what’s right in front of her!  Too busy heightening your defensive walls to pause and ponder how I abandoned all and followed you without a moment's hesitation, that I haven't left your side since!"   </p><p> </p><p>Podrick couldn’t take it anymore.  This fight was different.  They were shouting. </p><p>
  <em>Ser Jaime should not be roaring at My Lady…</em>
</p><p>He burst from the room in a fury, shoving himself between them, his usually timid pitch reverberating off the rafters with its sheer volume.  “Don’t yell at her!” </p><p> </p><p>Both warriors looked down at him in shock.  Jaime released a breath of tension, the air whistling through his teeth.  Brienne did the same but through her nose. </p><p>“Ppod pplease.”  She used her most pacifying tone.  “Wwhat did I ask you to do?”  Her question carried a hint of disappointment, dismayed that he had disobeyed her orders.  Pod felt the shame run deeply in his veins, colder than the winter’s night.  Brienne pursed her lips at him before continuing.  “I’m sssorry – things ggot out of hand between Sser Jaime and I.  Bbbut ppplease.  Ssstay in your room for ttonight.  Leave us to ssort it out.”   </p><p> </p><p>He hung his head and nodded meekly, chastened and angry with himself for defying the woman he only wanted to please and make proud of him.</p><p> </p><p>Back in his room, their movements were still audible to his hearing.  He tried to block them out, lecturing himself upon being nosy and interfering, but curiosity alone made him take notice.  Loneliness and lack of occupation fuelling him to try and interpret the sounds he heard, giving himself distraction from the ire which continued to roil within his lithe shell. </p><p><em>Ser Jaime fought with her – I would <span class="u">never</span> fight with her.  </em>    </p><p> </p><p>In the rooms outside, boots clomped across the floors - presumably retrieving linens for them to dry off with.  There was no conversation, and any rustling of getting dry was drowned out by the weather. </p><p>But a few minutes later, he heard Ser Jaime laugh lightly.  “That was amusing Brienne, even if you do not agree.  Here you were trying to be cross with me… but the chattering of your teeth made it lose a great deal of its impact.” </p><p>Pod would have given the copper he had been saving in his pocket to know the expression on her face at his comment. </p><p>
  <em>I hope she scowled at him. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Though a torturous part of Podrick's brain conjured the image of the shy smile Brienne often gifted Ser Jaime with.  A sweet expression which made her glow and confused her Squire beyond all measure.</p><p>He brushed it aside.  <em>She definitely would have scowled at him – he deserves it.    </em></p><p>
  
</p><p>When her response finally came, it was quiet.  Little more than a breathy whisper – but in her deep contralto it still carried.  “Will we ever understand each other?” </p><p>“We already do…”  Jaime’s answer was gentle, steeped in undercurrent.  “…more than either of us have been prepared to admit.”  The heavy thud of a boot taking a single step.  “But maybe it’s time that changed….” </p><p>Lady Brienne gasped and then there was only hush. </p><p><em>What did he do this time?  It must have been shocking.  </em>  </p><p> </p><p>For what seemed an eternity all he could discern was the crackle of three fires and the rhythmic beating of the rain against the roof. </p><p>
  <em>Brienne is not speaking with him, wise choice M’Lady.  He will only irk you. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>When at last the quiet was broken, it was Ser Jaime who spoke again, his own timbre turned husky.  “You’re soaked to the skin…” </p><p>There was a tearing noise, the distinct rip of fabric. </p><p>To Pod it didn’t fit.  His brain scrambling to find an explanation for the peculiar sound. </p><p><em>She must be so mad with him she is channelling her rage by shredding the linen.  Or mayhaps they ran out of kindling so are burning rags?  Or maybe Ser Jaime is hanging out some of his damp things in front of the fire and accidentally ripped one…he can be clumsy.       </em> </p><p>“….let’s get you warm.” </p><p> </p><p>Brienne's reply was soft, the clacking of her teeth had subsided, but her voice still subtly shook.  “To bed.” </p><p>
  <em>There’s the common sense I admire in her – she should go to bed.  It is warmer with the furs and he cannot annoy her anymore.</em>
</p><p>He listened until he heard the unmistakable click of her door closing.  Shutting out the Knight and his harsh words. </p><p>
  <em>Good – she’s gone inside the other room and away from him.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>Satisfied that the worst had passed for tonight, the Squire climbed into bed, his mind swirling with ideas about waking early and arranging their things.  Scrubbing the caked mud from Lady Brienne’s boots and seating them beside the hearth to dry out. </p><p>
  <em>That will make her smile at me…</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>Pod was slipping into a dream – a sublime fantasy where he had grown to over six feet high, muscular and strong.  He and Brienne roamed the lands with swords at their hips, vanquishing wrongdoers and forging their names as knights of legend, even without ever actually being dubbed into the sacred order. </p><p>His mind pondered over what they would be called – <em>the Just Heroes, the Nameless Knights, the Undubbed Defenders… </em></p><p> </p><p>“So wet...” </p><p>His eyes popped open staring into the dimly lit chamber.  The fire casting its amber glow and throwing shadows up the walls.  He blinked groggily; his sleep befuddled mind certain he had just heard Ser Jaime murmur. </p><p>
  <em>He must be complaining about his clothes – he does whinge a lot.  Maybe the items in his pack got wet too…but it sounded like it came from…</em>
</p><p>Podrick turned his head from the door – the direction the sound should have come from, to the adjoining wall – where for some reason it had seemed to echo from.</p><p>
  <em>I was half asleep and noise does travel strangely at night.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>Furrowing his brow, he nestled back into the pillow.  The casings may have been dusty but after Pod had shaken them out, he was glad for the rare luxury.  He was just getting comfortable again when a low moan could be heard through the wall. </p><p>He sat up stock straight.  <em>That was M’Lady.  Maybe it wasn’t Ser Jaime before if she is still up…though it really sounded like his voice.  </em></p><p> </p><p>Another low female moan echoed from the neighbouring bedroom. </p><p><em>It must have been her.  </em>His heart constricted in sympathy.  <em>She must still be soaked through and moaning with cold.  </em></p><p> </p><p>Then she whimpered – just once.  A high pitched oddly girl sound, which had Podrick flying from the bed and collecting a spare cloak from his pack.  He bundled it into his arms, determined that if his motives were chivalrous she would forgive him breaching her instructions for a second time. </p><p>
  <em>It is not insubordination or an intrusion if I’m caring-</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>“Are you alright?”  Jaime’s tone was smoother than silk, laced with concern.  The deep velvet echoing seemingly from within.  But Pod knew better.    </p><p><em>Damn him.  He got to her door first.  </em>The Squire stopped in the middle of his room, suspended in time, holding the cloak to his chest.  <em>At least he showed compassion.  </em></p><p> </p><p>“Yes, I’m fine.”  Her timbre was gravelly to the point that Pod worried she had been crying or caught cold.  “Go on.” </p><p>
  <em>Precisely – go on and get.  From her door and away.  M’Lady may be too polite to say it but I can think it for the pair of us.  </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>He plopped defeatedly back down onto the mattress. </p><p>
  <em>She doesn’t want to be disturbed and it would be bold of me to disregard her orders twice in one night.  If she says she is fine, I must believe her.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>Podrick crawled back beneath the covers, shutting his eyes tight.  Annoyed by how much the cabin around him seemed to creak in the night.  Falling asleep to a grating lullaby, its notes composed out of the repetitive squeaking of old, rickety wood.    </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Third Stage:  Obsession/Insanity</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>All hopes of surprising Brienne with his efficiency and punctuality were dashed to pieces when he overslept the next morning.  Emerging from his room to find the Lady and Knight already awake.</p>
<p>M'Lady Ser sat at the rickety table, barely moving enough to disturb the coating of dust upon its unvarnished surface.  She nursed a mug of steaming liquid between her large hands, long digits curling around it and overlapping.  Ser Jaime remained on his feet, but was leaning over the tabletop, resting upon his elbows and reaching across the expanse.  Fingertips of his left-hand spiriting across her knuckles in a way that made Pod’s empty stomach lurch. </p>
<p>
  <em>I know he needed to apologise but he doesn’t have to touch her.  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Their heads were bent close, their conversation peaceful and engrossing.  Focus so consumed in each other they hadn’t noticed his presence.</p>
<p>“…so it is binding now.”  Brienne’s speech was low and shy. </p>
<p>“Very much.  No undoing it now Wench, it is a done deal.”  Jaime grinned.  “Happy?” </p>
<p>“Yes.”  Her big blue eyes bashfully studied the contents of her cup.  “But there is so much to consider – how can it be when you-” Jaime noticed Pod in his peripheral vision, straightening and clearing his throat loudly, cutting off Lady Brienne mid-sentence.   She frowned with confusion until she noticed him herself.  “Good morning Podrick.” </p>
<p>“Good morning M’Lady Ser.”  Glowering at the golden knight he begrudgingly added.  “Ser Jaime.” </p>
<p>“Morning Lad.” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Podrick chose to ignore him.  “I’m sorry I overslept – it was not my intention.” </p>
<p>“It is alright Pod.”  Brienne was the epitome of understanding.  “I did not rouse you as I felt you needed your sleep.”</p>
<p>“Thank you M’Lady.”  He looked at his feet.  “I wanted to apologise for last night too, I did not mean to disobey orders.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She stretched out and gave his upper arm a squeeze.  The crush of her strong fingers feeling like an embrace.  “Don’t waste another moment fretting over it.  Although usually I would be greatly troubled by you defying me – I know your intentions were honourable.  Last night was…”  Brienne glanced at Ser Jaime out of the corner of her eye.  “…quite out of the ordinary for us all, I will not hold your actions against you.” </p>
<p>“Again, thank you.”  He mumbled, turning slightly pink under the gaze of her blue oceans. </p>
<p>“We need not mention it again.  Would you like a cup of warm watered wine?  It is all we have I’m afraid… and we could only find one chair.” </p>
<p>“Which of course the Lady gets.”  Jaime winked and Brienne rolled her eyes. </p>
<p>“I will have a cup.”  Pod agreed, moving to the pot over the fire, ladling in the hot liquid whilst he thought.</p>
<p>
  <em>I wonder if they were talking about ‘the situation’…but I cannot enquire their topic, that would be rude.  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Though perhaps if they volunteer it...  </em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>Returning to the table, Pod meekly stated.  “I didn’t mean to interrupt your conversation.”</p>
<p>“Not at all…”  Brienne took a deep breath and he knew from the way she set her jaw that she was mulling something over in her mind.  “….I was just about to ask Ser Jaime about his position as Lord Commander of the Kingsguard.  Surely that has been affected by his trip North...?” </p>
<p>“And <em>I </em>was just about to tell Lady Brienne that it does not perturb me in the least.  I have been absent from duty for moons, gone without a trace.  Most likely they have long declared me dead and organised my replacement.  I’d say – I’m free to do as I wish.” </p>
<p>Brienne angled her head to the side, teeth sinking into her bottom lip in a way that transfixed her young Squire.  “Does that eventuation please you Ser Jaime?”</p>
<p>He raised his blonde eyebrows at her.  “More than I can say.”  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Very well then.”  The Lady nodded, satisfied with his answer.  “In that case we had best begin to gather our things – it looks like the rain has cleared.” </p>
<p>“Must we?”  The golden knight pouted.  “I would sooner stay here.  Enjoy the <em>comforts</em> for another night.”  Jaime sipped his drink and Brienne stared at him.  The little smile she seemed to reserve solely for the audacious Lord pulling at her lips. </p>
<p><em>It’s not fair, why does he get them?  </em>  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“As we have previously established – it is not safe.  Cabins are easy targets for those who would seek to harm us.  We move on.”        </p>
<p>Pod felt himself fading from the conversation and he didn’t appreciate it one bit.  Keen to reinsert himself, he decided the best way was to enquire after Lady Brienne's health. </p>
<p>
  <em>It makes sense after last night – and it shows her that I care.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>“How are you feeling M’Lady?  I hope you have not caught a chill…”  It was only now that he really studied her complexion that panic started to bubble up within his chest. </p>
<p>
  <em>I was so enthralled by her eyes, hands and lips I never noticed.  </em>
</p>
<p>“I am in perfect health Pod.” </p>
<p>“But-”  He didn’t know how to break the news to her.  “-I’m worried your fever has returned – you are really quite flushed.” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>For a reason completely unimaginable to Podrick, Ser Jaime burst into a fit of laughter.  It made the young Squire scowl.</p>
<p>
  <em>M’Lady Ser's health is no laughing matter.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>==================</p>
<p> </p>
<p>A few nights later they found themselves huddled by an open campfire, the orange flames generating a small radius of heat which all were eager to submerse themselves in. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>They had not long finished dinner and Pod was assembling their trenchers back into their saddle bags, stamping his feet to try and keep the feeling in his toes.  Brienne perched upon a short log, wide frame taking up more than half the space, her long legs folded inelegantly, kneecaps coming up higher than even her swordbelt.  She hunched awkwardly, arms wrapped around herself, breath blowing clouds in the frosty air as she watched Jaime stoke the fire.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The Knight and Lady had taken to doing that a lot lately – watching each other.  Whenever one strolled away or went about simple daily activities.  Podrick concluded it was a sign of suspicion – that their trust in this strange golden knight had been shaken in the wake of the night at the cabin. </p>
<p>So – as any responsible Squire was wont to do – he resolved to keep a close eye on them as well, determined to ensure that Ser Jaime would not get another chance to upset Lady Brienne. </p>
<p>
  <em>I do not know why we keep him around.  If only he hadn’t taken the same vow regarding Lady Stark.  But we were searching for her by ourselves before he came along.    </em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>Continuing to arrange their packs, evenly distributing the weight so it wouldn’t be a strain for their mounts, he kept his peripheral vision trained on what was going on by the firepit. </p>
<p><em>You can never be too careful, too protective.  </em>     </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ser Jaime dropped the stick he had been using to poke at the embers, flexing his shoulders and making a great show of working out the kinks in his neck.  “Bloody cold-”  He remarked.  <em>A genius observation.  </em>“-it looks warmer over there though.” </p>
<p>“Hardly.”  Brienne responded.  “The proximity to the blaze is the same.” </p>
<p>“Mind if I test that out?”  The Knight smirked, sauntering over and depositing himself upon the log beside her, their thighs pressing flush, the smoke from both their exhales now intermingling. </p>
<p>“You could have waited for an answer!”   The Lady protested, wriggling over to make room.  “I had just managed to warm the spot where I sat.” </p>
<p>“Wench – are you saying you warmed it with your backside?” </p>
<p>“No!”  She growled low in her throat.  “Yes… and now you are invading it.” </p>
<p>“So terribly sorry…”  He leaned in closer, the tip of his nose connecting with her strands of hair.  “…I’m not really.  I was correct – it is far <em>hotter </em>over here.” </p>
<p>
  <em>That’s too close.  </em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>“I-I’ll be the judge!”  Pod called out, shoving the last items in the bags, all thoughts of meticulous packing forgotten.  “I’m impartial.” </p>
<p>Motioning Jaime to the right – away from Brienne – he wriggled his way between them, sandwiching himself in the middle of their two muscular frames. </p>
<p>
  <em>For once I am happy to be skinny.  But now I have to come up with something to say.  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Not bad.”  He announced, choosing a noncommittal answer.  “Definitely warmer than where I stood.  I think I’ll stay here.” </p>
<p>Brienne’s mouth had fallen slightly ajar, a single line of bewilderment forming between her blonde brows.  From his current vantage point he could admire all the wonderment of her face.</p>
<p>
  <em>M’Lady is perfect – I do not even notice the scar on her cheek.  </em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>His incursion had left little room for Ser Jaime, the older man pushing himself back to his feet, standing in front of them, head pivoting between the two, an inscrutable expression leaving his thoughts a mystery.  “Hmmm.”  He raked his gloved hand across his beard.  “Well My Lady – what do you make of young Podrick’s verdict?”  </p>
<p>Her mouth flapped, opening and closing without sound, before finally turning to Pod.  “Ah-thank you, I suppose.  For… offering a quick and concise resolution to our debate.” </p>
<p>Podrick twinkled.  <em>It is alright M’Lady Ser, I know what you mean to say.  I saved you from him, when he was getting too presumptuous.  As long as I’m here, I won’t let him pester you.  </em></p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>Ser Jaime had wandered off towards the horses, giving them blessed time alone.  Brienne stared into the blaze, her thoughts far off and contemplative.  Pod admired her hands, their complexion a speckled masterpiece of callouses and porcelain skin, so powerful and yet resting with ladylike softness upon her knees.  He tried to envisage being braver, courageous enough to place his own hand over hers.  Heart leaping at the idea of how wonderful it would feel, whilst his palms turned clammy at just the mere notion.    </p>
<p>But then the golden knight returned, and the beauty of the moment was broken. </p>
<p>
  <em>Damn him – why could he not retire for the evening?</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>“Brienne – I brought a spare cloak from my pack; I don’t think yours is sufficient.”  He fanned it around her shoulders, the exercise timely and inept, the folds of fabric proving uncooperative with just his single hand.  But she beamed at him, exuding warmth and approval.  The scant tolerance she generally displayed for incompetency nowhere in sight. </p>
<p>Pod frowned.  <em>He is being far too chivalrous and his hand is getting way too close.  </em></p>
<p>“I’m her Squire.”  Podrick reached for the clasp, shooing Jaime’s fumbling fingers away.  “I will fasten it around M’Lady.” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>The golden knight stepped back, raising both hand and stump upwards in a gesture of surrender, irritation creeping into his voice.  “I would have managed it Pod.”</p>
<p>Brienne sighed, taking the metal from his grasp and clipping it in place herself.  “Pod… I know you were only helping but it would have been polite to ask before taking over.”  She cast her blue orbs up at the other man.  “And Ser Jaime – I’m sure Podrick only meant to assist because he knows you struggle with your left hand.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Pod’s brown eyes met Jaime’s green, and the young Squire hoped his message was conveyed loud and clear. </p>
<p>
  <em>Before I was hanged, I was just a boy who looked down at his own feet.  But now…I will become a man.  I will be daring, dauntless.  Lady Brienne is worth it. </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Jaime arched a sceptical eyebrow, receiving the unspoken challenge.  “Sure, he was.” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>================</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Podrick!”  Ser Jaime’s holler was cheerful, jolly even. </p>
<p>
  <em>He is up to something. </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The squire slowed his horse to a walk, allowing the Knight to rein up beside him.  Lady Brienne rode ahead, and Pod kept his vision trained on the back of her blonde hair.  Senses tuned to any sign of danger. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I thought we could have a chance to chat.  Become better acquainted… I have it on good account that my brother thought highly of you.” </p>
<p>“Lord Tyrion was a kind master.”  The boy did not turn his head as he spoke.  “But Lady Brienne is superior.” </p>
<p>Jaime chuckled.  “I agree – though they are vastly different sides of the same copper.” </p>
<p>“Yes.”<em>  He is trying to befriend me, win me over in the hopes I will champion his cause….whatever that may be.  </em></p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>They rode in silence for a few yards, the rhythmic plodding of their horses' hooves filling the vacant air between them.  Before too long, the golden knight tried another approach.  “Your sword skills are improving.”</p>
<p>“M’Lady is a fine tutor.” </p>
<p>“She must be – why in my youth I squired under Lord Sumner Crakehall.  He was alright as a mentor goes I suppose, but he was terribly old even then.  It must be something grand to serve someone younger with more enthusiasm and passion.” </p>
<p>“I am very thankful to be with Lady Brienne.  There is not a knight in the Seven Kingdoms I would trade being her squire for.” </p>
<p>“That is very loyal, a commendable trait in a prospective knight….” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Pod was not listening, instead he was forming a sentence in his mind.  <em>Just get it out your mouth – one syllable at a time.  Do not stammer.  </em></p>
<p>He took a large lungful of air.  “You need not pander to me Ser.” </p>
<p>The squire chanced a sideways peek, chuffed to see a stunned expression plastered upon Jaime’s face. </p>
<p>“I-I am not a boy.  I see through false flatteries.  You may end the pretence of camaraderie.” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>The knight kneed his horse in the sides, quickening its gait and cutting off his path.  Forcing Podrick to come to a stop.  “Alright then.”  Jaime leant his arm against the horse’s mane.  “Man to man, dispensing with pleasantries.  Is there a specific reason you dislike me Pod?  Or is it more a broad ‘in-general’ type of contempt?” </p>
<p>The squire blanched; he had not anticipated Ser Jaime’s directness.  “I-I don’t know what you mean.” </p>
<p>“Come now Podrick.  Don’t back out of it now.  I know you must have your reasons – there is one in particular I suspect – so have it out with me.  I promise it will not result in bloodshed.” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lady Brienne’s back was receding further into the distance, it unnerved him.  <em>We should be with her.</em></p>
<p>Jaime leant to the side, blocking his view.  “The sooner you come clean, the sooner we can catch up with Brienne.”  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Pod worked his jaw in stress.  <em>What do I say?</em>  “I-I dislike your behaviour around M’Lady.”  He asserted.  “I think it inappropriate.  You overstep your bounds.” </p>
<p>The golden knight nodded, an odd sort of amusement crossing his face.  “So it <em>is </em>what I thought.”  When he lifted his head, his demeanour held a touch of empathy.  “Tell me – how long have you been infatuated with Lady Brienne?” </p>
<p>“It’s not merely an ‘infatuation’ Ser.”  The demeaning insult of the word struck a chord within his young heart, making the profession pour forth like a fountain.  “I <em>love </em>her.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Jaime inhaled, turning his horse to face frontwards again.  “That was very brave.”  He praised.  “I honestly didn’t think you’d own to it – I commend you for that.” To Podrick’s disconcertion, the Knight reached over and clapped him on the shoulder.  “I understand now lad.”</p>
<p>With that he cantered off, leaving Pod reeling. </p>
<p>================</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>He can’t tell her….he won’t tell her.  It would be detrimental to his aim.  But what is he after?</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The next few hours Pod spent in a blind panic, using every ounce of his self-restraint to hold his anxiety within.  He dropped the full lunch trenchers, hastily retrieving their lumps of hard bread from the snow, dusting them off and wincing at the soggy patches where moisture had soaked in.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Jaime was uncharacteristically quiet after their chat.  Even Lady Brienne had noticed, enquiring if aught were amiss.  The Knight just smiled thinly at her, brushing off her enquiries. </p>
<p>
  <em>He is deciding his next course of action.  Whether he should keep our conversation between us.  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Please, please Gods, let him choose to keep it quiet.  If M’Lady should come to know how I adore her I would melt into the snowdrifts...  </em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>But by the time evening had fallen, his stance had completely reversed.  Acknowledging his own shortcomings and that maybe Ser Jaime’s interference could be advantageous. </p>
<p>
  <em>I will never be plucky enough to tell Lady Brienne myself.  If he does it for me - I won’t have to.  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>And then she can come to me and tell me if she feels the same.  We would have to wait a few years before we are wed, but I don’t mind.  It can be a lengthy betrothal.  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>But what if she doesn’t believe him?  What if she thinks he’s making it up?  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>That works too….  M’Lady could denounce Ser Jaime as a liar and send him on his way.  Then we would be by ourselves again.  </em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>Ser Jaime’s silence endured until the next morning when he seemed to revert back to his old self.  Chattering on mindlessly about random observations until Podrick calmed.  Confident – if not slightly disappointed – that the older man had chosen not to disclose his findings. </p>
<p>
  <em>But he knows and now there can be no misapprehensions between us.  If he is a rival to her hand, he knows I am watching.  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>But I don’t have to worry, the dislike each other anyway… don’t they?  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It was all put far from his thoughts until that afternoon, when Pod was returning from relieving himself and happened to catch broken snippets of an ending conversation.   </p>
<p>“….impossible.”  Lady Brienne shook her head.</p>
<p>“No…it’s true.  Believe me Wench, I came to the conclusion long before I had it confirmed by the source.”  Ser Jaime scratched his chin through his whiskers with a crooked finger.  “What are we going to do?”</p>
<p>“Nothing.”  She was vehement.  “I won’t hur---there you are!”  Brienne greeted him with enthusiasm, the unusual brightness of her tone chasing all concern from his mind.  “I was starting to worry – you shouldn’t wander too far…there could be dangers.” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’m sorry, I would never wish to cause you a moment’s distress M’Lady Ser, but I didn’t want to be seen.”  He mumbled shyly, tracing patterns in the snow with the tip of his boot.  “But…if you think me ready, perhaps I could carry steel to defend myself with...”  Lifting his head, he puffed up his chest, making himself appear as tall and capable as he could. </p>
<p><em>Just in case he did tell her, I don’t want her seeing me as a boy.  </em>“...I am almost a man grown.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Brienne smiled fondly – <em>though it’s still not the same as the one she gives him, I think it must be better - </em>causing a dozen butterflies with papery wings to take flight within his stomach.  “That you are, I dare say you have grown considerably since you have entered my service.  I will consider arming you when we pass Moat Cailin.” </p>
<p>He was abuzz with excitement, a spring in his step.  “I will ready your horse M’Lady.” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ser Jaime’s eyebrows shot up, coming within an inch of his blonde hairline, but his surprise was of little importance to Pod, not when he was soaring higher than clouds.  His feet barely connecting with the ground long enough to leave footprints in the snow. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>From behind him, Brienne’s words drifted with the wind.  “What?  Look at me that way all you want.  I know how it feels.” </p>
<p>
  <em>Yes, you do.  We understand each other.  We both know how it is to crave steel in our hands and love in our hearts.  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Final Stage:  Awkwardness/Acceptance</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A wake-up call, a conversation and back to present day...</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Another few days passed and the temperature plummeted; the further North they roamed, the more the nights set weary travellers to shivering.  Tonight they sat on the hard ground, furs tucked beneath them, pressed as close to the fire as they dared without accidentally singeing their precious blankets. </p><p> </p><p>“…and so I was dubbed by Ser Arthur Dayne for valour in the field.  I had saved Lord Crakehall from Big Belly Ben…”  Ser Jaime trailed off, glancing at both Brienne and Podrick.  “…well this conversation is incredibly one-sided isn’t it?” </p><p>“Not at all.”  Lady Brienne gave him another fond smile, which prompted Pod to grind his teeth – <em>his fourth smile today, I’ve been counting.  </em>“I’m sure I can speak for both Podrick and myself when I say – we appreciate you sharing your stories.  Neither of us care to talk much and it provides distraction on such a chilly night.” </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I would actually prefer he not prattle M’Lady…but at least while he yammers on I can gaze at you.  </em>
</p><p>It wasn’t that he didn’t enjoy tales of knightly courage, under ordinary circumstances he would have hung on every word.  It was just that the yarns came from Ser Jaime, which to Podrick seemed like bragging. </p><p>
  <em>I hope he isn’t trying to impress us with his tall-stories, flaunting his deeds like a puffed-up peacock showing his feathers.  He should know better.  M’Lady is denied knighthood because of her gender, and I will never be inducted because I choose to remain with her.  Quite insensitive really.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Pod pulled his cowl forward, nestling the fabric around his head and shrinking back into the depths of the hood.  Grateful not only for how it blocked the cold but also the way it shadowed his face, allowing him to stare openly at Brienne without detection. </p><p>
  <em>The firelight makes her even more magnificent.  </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>“I would be happy for either of you to select a subject.”  Ser Jaime offered.  “Change our pattern up a bit.” </p><p>“I wouldn’t know where to begin.”  Brienne raised her shoulders in a shrug.  “You know I am not a great conversationalist.” </p><p>“Then I will provide a topic.”  He turned his green eyes up at the stars in thought before returning his gaze to their company.  “Here we sit, in a frozen wasteland.  Now I complain readily and loudly – which I’m sure you haven’t noticed...” </p><p>A snort sounded from the back of Lady Brienne’s throat and even Podrick had to smirk. </p><p>
  <em>How could we not?  It is all he ever does.  </em>
</p><p>Jaime grinned.  “…So, nostalgia time.  I want to know what both of you miss about peacetime and summer.  The comforts you yearn for that seem so very far away.” </p><p> </p><p>Pod gestured to Brienne, knowing that a Lady should always go first. </p><p>“I have been gone from home so long, it is easy to push the familiar comforts to the back of your mind.”  She mused.  “But if I were to think on it, I would say – warm sunshine.  Not this dim winter grey, the dazzling kind we get on Tarth that beats upon the sand and bounces off the water… and unfortunately causes a multitude of freckles.”  Brienne lifted her stippled hands with a wry chuckle.  “Hot meals, a straw mattress, clear skies.  I am Southron born and even though I don’t complain - this miserable weather is a stretch of tolerance for me too.” </p><p>Jaime laughed, the sound easy and nauseatingly charming.  He turned his attention to Pod next.  “And what about you lad?  What do you miss?” </p><p>“There isn’t anything - I like being here with M’Lady.”</p><p>The knight rolled his eyes.  “Very diplomatic.  If we were awarding points for tact - you’d win.  But come now, I am sure Lady Brienne will not take offence if you yen for a few creature comforts.  I know Tyrion enjoys the finer things in life, you must have become accustomed to a certain standard.” </p><p>“No insult will be gleaned from it Pod.”  M'Lady Ser nodded her encouragement.  “We all have little things we long for.” </p><p>“The food was much better in King’s Landing.”  Podrick admitted.  “Lord Tyrion did have good taste when he ordered meals.” </p><p>“As appealing as our stale hardbread and dried meat is.”  Jaime added in jest. </p><p> </p><p>“Your turn Ser Jaime.”  Brienne prodded.  “You too must share.” </p><p>“I thought the issue was I do entirely too much sharing?  My list of grievances has been miles long.” </p><p>“Yes, but your question is not what you dislike – it is what you miss.  Therefore, we are deserving of an answer.”  She clasped her hands together, leaning forward eagerly and Pod suppressed his compulsion to pout at her interest in the older man. </p><p> </p><p>“Well aside from the obvious-” Jaime began.  “-for we all know how I miss a roof over my head, feather-down pillows and the ability to actually feel my toes.”  His eyes dulled as he retreated within the recesses of memory, searching for his own contribution to their list of wants.  “If I am being truthful there is not much to pine for back in my old life.  Only Tommen and Myrcella but I doubt they think of me often.  I have been absent most their young lives, but I did begin to grow closer with His Grace before I was sent to the Riverlands.”  He wriggled in his place, fighting invisible foes. </p><p>“But besides them, there is precious little.  Certainly nothing to stir deep feelings of sentimentality.”  His green marbles found Brienne’s eyes, locking onto their intensity, his voice deepening to a serious octave seldom heard from the jocular knight.  “Instead I must confess whenever I feel those pangs of want, they are for what lies on the road ahead of me.  The potential of a life beyond this conflict and winter.  A home, bursting with jolly laughter and love.  A future with…”  He tore his stare away, breaking the trance, the japing lilt returning to his tone. </p><p>“…hope I suppose?  Aren’t I drab?  Here I was intending to lighten the mood – why couldn’t I have just said a decent red wine?  Is it too late to change my answer?” </p><p> </p><p>“Yes.”  Brienne’s own timbre was husky, her blue lakes shining with a watery quality. </p><p>
  <em>The cold must be getting to her.</em>
</p><p>“Are you warm enough M’Lady?”  Pod enquired, always keen to be the gentleman.  “I would gladly give you my cloak.” </p><p>“Keep it.”  She patted the back of his hand twice and the contact warmed him more than a thousand campfires ever could.  “I am fine and I would not want you going without.  Though I think it is past time we all turned in for the night...I will take the first watch.”</p><p> </p><p>==================</p><p> </p><p>The fire crackled quietly, the night still black, amber and shadows waltzing against tree trunks through his lashes.  Podrick stretched in his furs, rolling over and trying not be jolted completely from slumber by the cold patch below him, yet to be warmed by the heat of his body.  It was rare that he stirred in the wee hours, generally sleeping through from sheer exhaustion until he was woken to sit watch until dawn. </p><p>
  <em>But the ground here is uneven and the air particularly nippy.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Facing the fire drove the gelidity from his cheeks but presented its own set of problems.  The red and orange glow twirling beneath his eyelids depriving him of darkness.  Pod blinked his eyes open groggily, already regretting the action.  Knowing how later he would wish he had slept.</p><p>
  <em>I cannot fall asleep at my post, that would be irresponsible.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>The young Squire had just made up his mind to roll back over and try again when a moving shape on the opposite side of the blaze caught his notice. </p><p>
  <em>That is near where M’Lady set her furs.  </em>
</p><p>He bolted upright quicker than a hound with the scent of a rabbit.  Vision adjusting to the contrast of light and darkness, brain processing the scene before him.  </p><p> </p><p>Lady Brienne’s blankets were moving with a large mound beneath them, too big by far to belong solely to one person.  A long golden lock of curls tumbled momentarily into view, rolling away again as the figure rocked and Pod’s heart hammered against his ribs, blood rushing behind his ears. </p><p>
  <em>Ser Jaime…. he’s on top of her!!!</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Podrick dashed from his covers, practically leaping over the firepit.  Eyes darting left and right, spying the other man’s discarded swordbelt and seizing the blade from within the scabbard. </p><p>“<em>Get off</em> <em>her!</em>”  He screamed, running up to the moving mass, approaching from the side and pointing the tip of the sword at the treacherous knight’s throat.  “I swear I will kill you in defence of M’Lady!  Don’t think I won’t!” </p><p>He knew Lady Brienne’s fears, why in days gone by it was commonplace for her to sleep in a full suit of armour, why she had pulled the ladder up to prevent Nimble Dick from sleeping near them. </p><p> </p><p>Above her the knight stilled, wide eyed but holding himself as a statue.  All too aware of how closely he danced with death. </p><p>
  <em>I knew he was horrible; I will not let him get away with this.</em>
</p><p>Podrick increased the pressure against the foul knight’s skin, the deadly edge digging into Ser Jaime’s neck.  A tiny trickle of crimson appearing and running along the blade. </p><p> </p><p>“Pod…”  Brienne’s voice shook.  “…put the sword down.”  He chanced a fleeting glimpse at her face, her blue spheres wide with alarm and fear.  It reinforced his resolve. </p><p>“Not until he removes himself.”  Podrick avowed, stare transfixed upon the bulge of Lannister's throat.  “And even then, he should pay with his life.”</p><p>“Please Podrick.”  Her tone was firmer this time, disguising the quiver.  “Step away from Ser Jaime – that is an order.”</p><p>“But he…”  Confusion and distress birthed tears in his eyes.  Tremors rocking his hold on the sword, the length of steel shaking precariously. </p><p>
  <em>Knights are made from heroic deeds, saving the person to whom they are sworn.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>“It is alright.”  She reassured, her woollen clad arm slowly moving from beneath the blankets, reaching up to take his wrist and steady his grip.  Her words coming carefully and deliberately halting.  “I wanted this.  I welcomed Ser Jaime.  It is not the first time.”</p><p>“You…?”  His bottom lip trembled, head swivelling to peer at his beloved M'Lady Ser.  “…I don’t understand.”      </p><p> </p><p>“Pod-”  Her tone was so conscience-stricken it nearly broke his heart.  <em>If it isn’t already splintering...</em> </p><p>“-I didn’t want you to find out like this.  But please-”  Brienne’s long, strong fingers tightened around his arm, pulling it downwards.  “-lower the blade.  What you saw is startling and I know you weren’t to know the truth of it but…. he is my husband.” </p><p>Podrick felt the blood drain from his cheeks, his response coming out as a strangled squeak.  “Your...<em>husband?!</em>” </p><p> </p><p>“I love him…”  Brienne declared, her grasp on his wrist stronger than iron.  With her intervention the edge was now several inches away from Jaime’s jugular and the knight let out an exhale, the air rushing from him in a blast as he rolled to the opposite side and out of danger with the agility of a cat.  “…We are in love.  We have been man and wife since the Quiet Isle.”   <br/>
<br/>
</p><p>“I am sympathetic to your plight Podrick.”  Ser Jaime swiped at his neck, smudging away the traces of blood from the small cut, stumped arm clutching the edge of the blanket to cover himself.  “And I am apologetic for the upset this discovery causes, however we should both appreciate that these things cannot be helped - we cannot choose who we love.  I am not angry at you for interceding, in fact I am glad of it.  My Lady is fortunate to have such a caring Squire.” </p><p> </p><p>Pod’s head was pounding, his young heart smashing, shattering into a thousand pieces.  <em>She is his...? </em></p><p> </p><p>“B-But...”  He gulped, trying to push back the tears which he knew were unmanly.  “But… you do not get along…. you argue and dislike each other.  <em>He</em> is the one who isn’t supposed to be here M’Lady!  It was to be just you and me…”</p><p>Even as he said the words his subconscious was turning over all the events of the last weeks.  Reinterpreting everything that he had seen and heard – the process coming up with a painful conclusion. </p><p>
  <em>It was me.  I was the one who didn’t fit.  The extra who didn’t belong.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Brienne was sitting now, furs pulled high over her woollen nightshirt to stave off the cold, mouth drooping at the corners and empathy emanating from her aura.  “I’m sorry Pod.” </p><p>When he could no longer stop the pooling liquid which gathered in his line of sight, he did the only thing he could do….</p><p> </p><p>He ran. </p><p>=============</p><p> </p><p>“Podrick….” </p><p> </p><p>He batted the tears away with the heels of his hands at the sound of her approaching.  Unwilling to let her see him cry.  A part of him wishing for solitude, that she had not come in pursuit of him after he fled the campfire.  But his persistent affection for the large warrior woman was still unable to send her away.</p><p>The sound of crunching snow and snapping twigs announced her arrival, Brienne coming to stand in front of him with slouched shoulders, compassionate expression and an extra cloak draped over her arm.  </p><p>“…I’m glad I found you, it is dangerous taking off into the dark of night.  There could be wolves amongst other perils.” </p><p> </p><p>Pod didn’t respond, instead hugging his arms around his knees, pulling them up tight to his chest.  A futile attempt at warding off the chill and the agony as he perched amidst the tangled roots of a colossal ancient tree, the presence of its wide trunk behind him a source of comfort. </p><p> <em>Broad and large - like M'Lady.</em></p><p>“Here.”  She snuggled the cloak around him, and it smelt like her, the large size engulfing him from neck to boot, leaving only his head exposed.  “It is freezing without a fire.” </p><p>Ice crushed beneath Brienne's boots as she manoeuvred herself to sit beside him, swiping away the coating of frost from a root with her gloved hand.  “I understand if you do not wish to speak with me.  I acknowledge that this situation was my doing.  Ser Jaime urged me to come clean with you days ago, after learning…”  She let her speech dwindle and he knew what she was going to say. </p><p>
  <em>After learning that I'm in love with you. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Two sets of eyes became downcast and he sniffled, studying the weave of the fabric that swaddled him, trying to ignore how every lungful carried traces of her scent. </p><p>“Perhaps you will permit me to explain a couple of things.  The first being why I didn’t want to tell you about Ser Jaime and me.  You see, I was worried things would change between us.  That we would grow awkward and you would leave my service and I hated that idea Pod – you have grown very dear to me.”  </p><p>He heard her swallow and his chest constricted at the notion that he was troubling her.  <em>But she has broken my heart.  </em></p><p>“However most of all – I didn’t want to cause you any hurt or heartache.  And the price which I now pay is knowing I have inflicted a wound regardless of my intentions.  I know what you must be going through Podrick - I am more familiar with the ache you are experiencing than you would expect.”</p><p> </p><p>Now his gaze sought hers, curiosity warring with his trampled feelings. </p><p>“You know I served Renly Baratheon, but what I did not tell you – was how enamoured I was with him.” </p><p>The young Squire’s eyebrows raised slightly, tears beginning to dry on his cheeks. </p><p><em>M’Lady was infatuated with Renly?  </em>  </p><p> </p><p>“He was kind to me once – showing consideration for my feelings when everybody else treated me with derision, and that act was enough to win my absolute devotion.”  Even in the gloom, he could tell her skin pinked slightly in embarrassment at the admission.  “I was just a girl then and my fantasies ran away with me.  I was determined to follow him to the ends of earth, to defend and live and die for him.  Swear my life to his service just to be near him on occasion.”  She sighed, peering at Pod from the corner of her blue eyes.  “Even when I learnt he preferred the company of men.” </p><p> </p><p>“That must have been hard M’Lady.” </p><p>“It sounds as though it would be – though in truth it was all too easy.  At the time I did not recognise the reason why I could so readily accept it, I thought my love for him stronger than the facts, that I could merrily dwell in unrequited adoration.” </p><p>Brienne rotated in place, facing him completely.  “But the truth is – I could live with the knowledge that he didn't return my sentiments – because I wasn’t in love, not truly.  It was a crush, an intense admiration.  Love – true, overwhelming, passionate love - is a different feeling entirely.  And it is only when you experience the real thing that you can understand how much the former pales.” </p><p> </p><p>The squire furrowed his brow, not wanting to contradict his mentor but also filled with disbelief.  “In all due respect – it doesn’t feel that way M’Lady.” </p><p>“I know.”  She breathed.  “It took me years to learn the truth, to work through the confusion within myself, with no one to guide or explain to me the transformation of what I was feeling.  You think you love me Pod – and both the hurt and warmth within – it seems so, so real right now.  Just as it did for me about Renly.  Even when my dreams of him began to fade, I clung on, as though it was somehow a betrayal that his face was replaced with Jaime’s.”  Her sigh reverberated into the icy night air. </p><p>“Jaime...”  Brienne repeated his name.  <em>Her husband's name.</em>  </p><p>“...What I feel for him is so much stronger than anything I’ve ever known.  And I don’t say this to injure you Pod…but to make you understand.  When you meet the right person - <em>you know</em>.  It all just falls into place.” </p><p> </p><p>“But-”  He shook his head, not wanting to accept.  “-is that really how it happened with Ser Jaime?  It can't all just work or fit - you squabble constantly.” </p><p>“We do.”  Brienne smiled – the same glowing smile he had seen aimed at the golden knight a thousand times.  <em>How could I have been so blind and gullible?  </em></p><p>“He and I disagree and butt heads.  Jaime is as argumentative as I am, and so arrogantly quick-witted that more often than not I want to scream.  Never would I have pictured my partner as my complementary opposite – but that is precisely what we are.  Contrasting on the outside, but perfectly matched within.”  Her expression turned timid.  “I don’t want to upset you by detailing how it came to be – but I also think you deserve to know.” </p><p> </p><p>Podrick steeled himself, bracing and nodding. </p><p>“We were married in my cottage upon the Quiet Isle.  The culmination of a thousand small gestures and a history of shared experiences.  I vaguely recollect how he was the one who carried me to my bedchamber.  How Jaime roared when they tried to tell him he wasn’t permitted inside my room.  I could feel his hand on my forehead, hear the Proctor Healer insisting that he leave my bedside, followed by Jaime bluntly refusing.  I was slipping in and out of delirium, but I didn’t think of death or oblivion.  All I knew in my heart was that I didn’t want him to go, my only fear was them sending Jaime away.  And he was whispering to me, asking <em>me</em> not to leave <em>him.</em>  Annoying me with things he knew would incite me to respond.  His fingers were laced through mine, then combed through my hair.  Mopping sweat from my brow and holding a cool cloth to my cheek.  The Elder Brother said there was only one solution.  They needed my consent – so Jaime asked me to marry him and I squeezed his stump to say yes.  I cannot recall much of the ceremony, but I remember the end when he pressed his lips to mine…”  Brienne stopped; visibly swallowing, eyes full to the brim with emotion.</p><p>
  <em>She loves him.  She honestly, truly loves him.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>“Believe me Podrick, it will get better.”  She said it with so much assurance he was inclined to listen.  Though what she spoke of felt a world away from the fracture inside his chest.  “One day – you will meet the love of your life and this will be but a memory-” </p><p>It was a promise – and he knew Brienne did not make pledges unless she had absolute conviction in her words. </p><p>“-You’ll see.” </p><p>==================</p><p> </p><p>“So that’s where you’ve been?  Stopping to see the sights whilst the rest of us are working.” </p><p>He was greeted by his wife’s teasing voice when he rounded the stone wall, arriving back upon Evenfall’s grounds.  His leisurely walk taking him not only around the scenic cliffs, but also down memory lane.  She smiled, delivering a kiss to his cheek, shoving their youngest child into his arms.</p><p> </p><p>“I began reminiscing and lost track of time.”  Pod admitted with a grin, bouncing his son upon his hip.  “Sorry love.” </p><p>“That’s what I get for marrying a quiet, contemplative type of man I suppose.”  She responded.  “But you really must take him for a while, I need to get back to my sewing.”</p><p>“Sure.”  Pod replied.  “Happy to.” </p><p> </p><p>She affectionately pinched their boy upon his chubby cheek.  “My work has been falling behind because Mister Grabby Hands here keeps trying to help.  M’Lord and M’Lady kindly offered to watch the older two today, they are currently playing with the noble children in the courtyard.”   </p><p>“I will head there now.”  He announced, stooping to kiss her but only contacting empty air.  His wife already scampering off across the cobblestones.  She always seemed to be in a hurry, whereas each of his moves were slow and methodical. </p><p>
  <em>Just like M’Lady said all those years ago – opposites attract.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>He had been married for six years, blessed with three healthy babes and a happy home.  His little ones showered with all the spoiling and love Podrick himself had never enjoyed.  His days were filled with smiles and he had never been more content.  Their quiet, tranquil life at Evenfall Hall a constant pleasure. </p><p>After the great battles of the Long Winter, the kingdoms had settled into an age of peace, and nobody enjoyed the serenity more so than him. </p><p>
  <em>Even if those dark days earnt me a knighthood.  </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>Ser Podrick was dubbed beneath Winterfell’s Walls, earning the honourific through his bravery and chivalrous conduct.  Even though he had always told himself the title wasn’t necessary, it hadn’t stopped him from beaming when the blade descended upon his shoulders. </p><p>But his joy was no match for Lady Brienne’s - watching the proceedings filled with pride and emotion. </p><p>In his mind’s eye Pod could still see her on the sidelines, sneakily wiping away a tear with her index finger, Jaime’s arms wrapped around her thick waist and gigantic smiles adorning both their faces.  When he stood for the first time as an anointed knight, the great hall echoed with Jaime’s enthusiastic whistle, the golden knight deciding that applause alone didn’t suffice.  It was accompanied by the unmistakable smack of leather clad flesh, as Brienne slapped her husband’s shoulder for being ‘rowdy’ and ‘distracting from the sacred moment.’  Their endearing antics only serving to broaden the breadth of his grin.     </p><p> </p><p>To this day Pod adored M’Lady Ser – but in a vastly different way.  She was his family, his inspiration, and his liege Lady.  The esteemed position he held as Household Knight and Evenfall Hall's Master-at-Arms thanks to her generosity and unwavering affection for the boy she had once called squire.    </p><p> </p><p>Lady Brienne herself had taken a while to adapt to the simpler life upon returning to Tarth.  Taking over the role of Evenstar as per the wishes of her aging Father and tolerating the ladylike tendencies that went along with the position. </p><p>Her Lord Husband and consort was by her side every step of the way – ribbing, supporting and loving in equal doses.  By that stage Pod had grown used to the sight of them arguing in the hallways one minute, only to be kissing in the alcoves the next.  Their love palpable to anyone attuned enough to see past their bickering. </p><p> </p><p>It was the result of one such instance, that found Podrick stumbling over his words again – a trait he had lost years prior, when his height grew taller and his lithe frame filled out.    </p><p> </p><p>Lord Selwyn was hosting a ball for the official handover of his seat and insisted Lady Brienne needed a gown.  All her old dresses no longer fit and were not suitable for the inauguration of the Evenstar.  Lady Brienne wanted to wear her armour.  Ser Jaime chuckled, proceeding to make ludicrous suggestions involving Pink Satin and Myrish Lace earning him a deep scowl from his wife but favour with his good-Father.      </p><p>Unfortunately, Lord Selwyn was not as well versed in the golden knight’s sense of humour, failing to detect the note of irony in Jaime’s tone, instead misconstruing his suggestions as an assertion of agreement.  He subsequently pleaded with his daughter to grant him this final request as Evenstar, to see her dressed as a proper Lady - with all the customary trimmings and finery - for the celebrations.  A boon she could not refuse her sire upon such a prestigious occasion.     </p><p>For the rest of the afternoon, Brienne raved at her husband, blaming him for her predicament.  By the next morning, Jaime had sourced a solution. </p><p><em>Only he neglected to tell anybody.</em>    </p><p> </p><p>So it was that Podrick sought out Lady Brienne, traipsing into her solar to discuss their next training practice, stopping dead in his tracks when he stumbled upon an unfamiliar face. </p><p><em>A very comely unfamiliar face.  </em>With soft light brown hair and eyes like a doe. </p><p> </p><p>And he just stood there - hickory spheres agog, jaw going slack, mouth flapping like a fish on dry land - whilst this apparition of loveliness flitted about the room unperturbed.  Arranging roles of material and ribbons, straightening her fabric dummy imitating the shape of a woman’s torso, draping layers over its shoulder and fixing them in place with small pins she clutched between her lips. </p><p>
  <em>Very soft looking, pink lips. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>When she noticed him, only her eyes registered acknowledgment, retrieving the last of the pins and stabbing them back into a small cushion which was strapped to her wrist.  Smiling and addressing him in a way that paused his world.  “Apologies if my presence startled you – I’m presuming from the way you’re dressed you are part of the household guard.”  She giggled softly, adding a golden trim to the creation in front of her.  “If you’ve come to escort me out for trespassing, I assure you, I am where I’m supposed to be – Lord Jaime organised this as a surprise for the Lady Brienne, she's to be here any minute.” </p><p> </p><p>He just nodded dumbly, his brain screaming.  <em>Say something!  </em></p><p>
  
</p><p>“I’m sorry!”  She scurried over suddenly realising.  “How rude of me, I forgot to introduce myself.  I am Mildred.  Millie most call me.  I’m a seamstress from in town.  Though I have studied my craft upon the mainland.”  The young woman blinked when he did not respond, an enchanting grin exposing a row of neat little teeth.  “And you are?” </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Your name.  All you have to say is your name.  You know this answer.  </em>
</p><p>“P-P-Podrick.”  He finally croaked out, wishing the floor would swallow him for delivering such an inarticulate response.  Trying not to cringe at the sudden onset return of his stutter.  </p><p>“Well pleased to meet you.”  She wanted to laugh, he could tell, but she masked it well.  And within her amusement was not a shred of cruelty. </p><p>“Ser Podrick Payne.”  Correcting himself, he tried to salvage the introduction.  “Master-at-Arms here at Evenfall Hall.”</p><p> </p><p>“Should I curtsy?”  Millie whispered nervously, and he thought it the sweetest sound.  “I must confess I have never been invited into a noble House before and I am quite on edge.”</p><p>“Don’t be anxious on my account – please.  And no…no need to curtsy or stand on ceremony with me.  I am just Pod.”  He shrugged, seized by an overwhelming desire to put her at ease.  “I also assure you that Lady Brienne and Lord Jaime are both kind people.  There is no need to fear.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh good...”  She let out a sigh of relief, holding her hand to her heart.  His eyeline followed the motion until he realised it appeared as though he was staring at her bosom, quickly lifting his gaze back up with a jerk. </p><p><em>I didn’t mean to!  Please may she not have seen!  </em> </p><p>In the back of his mind, he could already hear Ser Jaime sniggering, the knight would be enrapt by this tale.  His ensuing teasing good-natured but well deserved. </p><p>“<em>Smooth Pod.  Smooth.”</em></p><p> </p><p>Luckily for Podrick, Millie didn’t seem to have noticed. </p><p>“…Because I’ve heard that M’Lady doesn’t really like traditional dresses.  So I know I have a challenge on my hands.  And it’s not that I’m not up for a challenge – because I am – it is just a lot of pressure and I don’t want to displease.  And then what if I succeed with the dress but my lack of courtly manners lets me down?  Because I have a tendency to overtalk when I’m nervous and oh Gods!”  Both hands flew to her mouth.  “I’m doing it now.  I’m sorry!” </p><p>“That’s alright.”  Pod had said, with a chuckle.  “You like to talk, and I like to listen…”   </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>And I’ve been listening to her ever since.  Lady Brienne did not lead me astray.  When it’s true love – everything is different.  </em>
</p><p>Entering the courtyard, he swept his gaze over a gaggle of playing children.  Some cavorting and moving so fast the only way he could distinguish his own offspring from Jaime and Brienne’s was by the colour of their hair.  All of the Lannister-Tarth brood had blonde tresses, whilst his and Millie’s other two little ones had brown. </p><p> </p><p>They mobbed him when he approached, fending off a chorus of ‘Uncle Pod!’ and ‘Father!’  Having to pause and admire various seaside keepsakes they had collected – junk by most people’s standards but priceless treasures to the children. </p><p>He was nearly exhausted by the time he finally made it over to where Jaime and Brienne sat.  Plopping his toddler boy upon a plush blanket spread on the ground and plonking upon the end of the bench.  His sigh of relief met with the sound of Jaime’s laughter.  “How many are you and Millie having Pod?” </p><p> </p><p>Podrick’s mouth twitched up at the sides.  “Tarth is a small island Lord Jaime, I’m not certain how many more it can house.  You and M’Lady seem to have half the population already covered.”</p><p>“Well I keep telling Brienne we need one more to make an even half-dozen.”  The golden knight announced.  “I’m up for it.” </p><p>“Oh you are?”  Lady Brienne carefully transitioned the sleeping babe in her arms to the waiting crib beside her.  “I’m <em>so</em> pleased <em>you</em> feel ready to handle it all again.” </p><p> </p><p>“Look at them, they are charming!”  Jaime quipped, right as two were rolling across the cobblestones.  Gathering twigs in their hair and ripping holes in their clothes but having a marvellous time in the process.  He frowned.  “You can’t judge them based off right now - they went to explore the rock pools in the sun this morning and they just had cakes.  The sugar will take a good few hours to wear off but then they'll drop down to nap and it will be bliss.”  Leaning over, he kissed his wife on her speckled neck.  “That’s when we get our alone time… for love.” </p><p>She huffed, shaking her head in response whilst cuddling into her husband’s shoulder.  Rolling her blue marbles skyward when Jaime returned to watching their rambunctious youngsters, ensuring only Podrick would notice the gesture.  He stifled a guffaw and Jaime’s attention shot back, narrowing his eyes in jest, glancing between the pair of them in exaggerated suspicion, seeking the in-house joke. </p><p> </p><p>“Speaking of love…”  Jaime began again – he was still the most talkative out of the trio, always the one to start conversations.  “Have you seen our little Alyanna and your boy Chandler?”  He pointed with his stump towards where the two children sat by themselves, heads bent close in conversation.</p><p>Chandler was the eldest of the Payne progeny.  A little over five years old, he was a good-natured boy whom - even Podrick had noticed - had taken a special shine to Jaime and Brienne’s second eldest daughter.  Alyanna herself had only just seen five name days and was the gentlest of all the Lannister-Tarth issue.  Ladylike and very shy, she liked to sing made up songs when she thought no one was listening and collect trinkets. </p><p>“They are quite adorable,”  Jaime elaborated.  “Why just this morning Chandler found a rather nice shell and gifted it to Aly - if I didn’t know better, I would say they were courting.”  He chortled, somehow managing to feign seriousness enough to look Podrick in the eye.  “Father to Father, I feel we need to discuss his intentions.  Shall we organise their betrothal now or give it a few more years?” </p><p>Brienne pressed two fingers to both sides of her temples and groaned.  The long-suffering wife of an incorrigible stirrer.  “I love you husband, but sometimes you leave me speechless.” </p><p> </p><p>Pod just laughed along with him.  “I don’t think so, Ser Jaime...” </p><p>He peered at the children once more, amusement permeating his tone.  “...I am rather certain – it is just a crush.” </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you for reading! This was a different way to write a Braime tale, but I enjoyed it immensely. :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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